November Series Part 1
Bringing awareness to the beliefs, assumptions and familiar narratives we hold about ourselves, our abilities and what we believe is possible for us.
Image thanks to Unsplash - SOCIAL CUT @socialcut
There is a voice that runs quietly in the background of your day. It rarely announces itself. It slips in when you hesitate before sending an email, scroll past an opportunity, or say, "I'm just not a person who..." and finish the sentence without thinking.
That voice is telling you a story.
We all carry stories about who we are. I'm not good with money. I'm the reliable one. I always put others first. I'm too old to start again. I'm not the creative type. They sound like facts, and because we have heard them for so long, we rarely stop to question them. They simply feel like the truth about us.
But a story is not the same as a fact. A story is a pattern of thoughts, beliefs and assumptions, stitched together over time, that we have come to accept as "just how I am." And these stories do far more than describe us. They quietly set the boundaries of what we believe is possible in our lives.
Here’s the thing: you cannot rewrite a story you cannot see.
That is why this series begins here, not with change, but with noticing. Awareness asks nothing of you except honesty and a little curiosity. You do not have to fix anything this week, just notice.
The Stories We Carry
We all have an internal narrative. It's the running commentary through which we interpret our experiences, make sense of our past and form expectations about our future. Some of these stories are positive. They remind us of our strengths, our resilience and what we have achieved; others are less helpful. We might tell ourselves that we're not capable, that we always get things wrong, that we aren't interesting enough, or that certain opportunities are simply beyond our reach.
Over time, these beliefs can become part of our identity. Rather than thinking, "I struggled with that", we begin to think, "I'm not good at that."
There is a huge difference. One describes an experience. The other turns that experience into a definition of who we are.
When we start to believe that definition, it can influence the choices we make, the opportunities we pursue and the possibilities we allow ourselves to consider.
When A Thought Becomes A Belief
Our brains are constantly trying to make sense of the world. They draw on previous experiences, familiar patterns and information we have gathered over time to help us interpret what is happening.
This is useful because it allows us to navigate everyday life without having to reconsider everything from the beginning. However, it also means that familiar thoughts can become deeply established.
If we repeatedly tell ourselves we're not confident, we may start noticing every situation where we feel uncertain while overlooking the times we speak up, take a risk, or handle something well, and our attention starts to reinforce the belief we already hold.
This doesn't mean that every negative thought is untrue or that we can simply think ourselves into a different reality. It means our interpretation of an experience isn't always the whole story.
There may be another perspective we haven't considered.
Start By Noticing
Before we can change a story, we need to become aware of it.
This isn't about judging yourself for having limiting beliefs or trying to replace every negative thought with a positive one. It's about developing a little curiosity about the way you see yourself.
This week, pay attention to the sentences that begin with:
"I always..."
"I never..."
"I'm not the sort of person who..."
"People like me don't..."
"There's no point in..."
These are the clues. Each one points to a belief that may be shaping your choices without your permission.
Try keeping a small notebook beside you for the week. When you catch one of these phrases, jot it down without judging it. You are not trying to argue with the thought, just to collect it. By Friday, you may be surprised at how often the same story appears.
Questions To Sit With
What do I tell myself when I think about my abilities?
What do I believe is realistic for someone like me?
Which sentences about myself do I repeat most often?
If a friend spoke to me the way I speak to myself, what would I say to them?
Be gentle with whatever surfaces. Seeing a story clearly is not a failure; it is the first step in remembering that you are more than the version you have been carrying.
A Thought To Carry Forward
We often spend a great deal of time thinking about who we want to become, but perhaps we should also spend a little time questioning the version of ourselves we have already decided we are.
You are not simply the sum of your past experiences, your mistakes, your disappointments or the labels you have carried throughout your life, you are also the person you are becoming.
This month, we're exploring what it means to recognise and rewrite the stories that shape our lives. But for now, there is no need to change anything.
Next week, we get curious about where these stories came from.